Back so soon! I knew I had a good feeling about SPIRALS! 🙂 So this week’s discussion centered on Love & Sex Magic…and Butts. -_- Anyway, I’ll start by saying on the way to the club I had an intellectual talk with my neighbor about love and how researchers observe that a lot of people tend to fall in love with the idea that someone values them and not so much the other person, themselves. It’s like they fall in love with the attention being paid to them. My neighbor insinuated that somebody pretty egocentric would be more prone to this possibly without even realizing it. We talked about kids, too and how it’s also observed that men tend to love their wives slightly more than their children where with women, the opposite is often true. I have seen both those realities and ones that contradict that idea. It is, of course, a generalization, not a hard-fast rule (like just about everything else in life).
Moving on to the discussion…
We started talking about the magic/energy attached to sex and debated about whether intent is necessary and how to utilize it. I asked if anyone had ever cast a circle to masturbate in. One member asked if a circle was even necessary if it was just a form of worship vs. a ritual/spell. The idea was if what’s taking place is an act of worship, there is nothing to be contained/protected therefore no need for a circle. Someone suggested casting a circle out of condoms. Ha! We all found that pretty clever. This lead into crossing the veil during sex. I can personally say I have done that more than once, unintentionally and I believe that one cannot try to do that during sex…It has to happen naturally. We all seemed to agree that sex creates a transfer/production of energy whether there is an intent or not. I piped in that I feel sex is the very central seed of paganism (and life as we know it) since without sex, none of us would be here. Many spells and rituals are fertility-based, whether for crops, children or even livestock’s fertility. The point is to ensure longevity, whether it be not starving to death or to reproduce and keep our species going even after we die.
After sex magic was touched upon, we went into attraction and defining what that is (an insatiable pull to something/one) and it was brought up that people tend to be attracted to what they think they deserve and our partners are usually a reflection of our self-esteem. I had previously learned that in psychology. Attraction moved into love and the term “falling in love” was discussed. Another member read a quote about falling love saying immature lovers tend to fall, whereas mature lovers tend to rise in love and liberate each other. They are together but tremendously alone in their own world. Dependency is the opposite of liberation. Someone else mentioned that you can be in love with someone without including sex and you can have sex without being in love with a person. Well, we all know the latter part is certainly true and I believe in my heart that the former is true, as well. I don’t think it’s acknowledged enough, however. It seems to be quite a foreign concept to many people and I would like to see it further explored and have it happen consciously more often amongst humans.
I had been looking forward to this discussion since the event was first created and I was not disappointed. I couldn’t have asked for a more mature, enlightening meeting about this topic with the best people. Afterwards, a few of us grabbed dinner at a campus cafe. One of the members said the only response he can give to people with relationship issues is “How’s the communication between you all?”